Thursday, February 7, 2013

Life - a rat-race?

Monday morning was a little different than planned, but then again, things seldom go as planned... Quarter past seven, I delivered the four-year-old in kindergarden. Half past seven I drove the kids towards school(I don't have time to drive them all the way because then I miss my morning-meeting at work). Then I head through town, trying to force my way through rush hour. Finally in place for the morning-meeting, and then straight off to teach. 5 hours later, the teaching is over and I head straight off to a meeting with some colleagues concerning an Anti-bullying program. After that meeting, I have a team-meeting with other colleagues, and THEN I can head home. Finally home, I park the car and walk over to pick up my youngest in Kindergarden. Then we go home and I cook dinner. While I make dinner, I help my seven-year-old with his homework whilst commuting between the living-room and the kitchen trying to do both things at once. After dinner, it is time to help out the 14-year-old, and this is more timeconsuming. After a little break for family home evening, I continue helping the eldest with her homework. After eight thirty, we're done and the Dad has put the other ones to sleep. Then there is time to empty the washing-machine and dishwasher, fill the washing-machine and dishwasher, empty the dryer, hang some clothes up to dry and put on a dryer. Then a wee bit of tidying before I crash into bed. 
Think? No time for that on Monday... Tuesday was almost the same. Except I didn't have time to cook dinner. I came home from work, made pancake-batter and got the 10-and 12-year-old to start frying them(which they didn't mind at all) while I picked up the four-year-old in Kindergarten  Then a quick shower before heading back to work for Parent-conference  The School I work at have two separate buildings, and I headed up the hill to the one to get the papers I needed for my presentation, them back to the other building to do the presentation. Done with the first group of parents, then back to the first building in case I needed to translate for some parents, but they didn't show, so I headed right back to the other building to participate in presentation number two, for the High School parents. All this whilst the Dad in our family participated in a different parent-conference at the other side of town, at the school that our children attend. You know, I have a hard time being two places at once... On my way home, I stop by the store to pick up something edible  and then I finally reach my destination. Home. At least this time I actually manage to have a conversation with my husband.  Two days of stress over, but tomorrow will be a bit better day - hopefully. 

Sometimes you can wonder why on earth we live like this. Life is a rat-race in between  The expression comes from labrats, when they run like heck in their wheels, getting nowhere. They worked hard, but achieved nothing. Although I do feel that everything has a point, it just isn't clear all the time. 

"All these days that came and went, little did I know that they were life itself"

I have two weeks sickleave behind me. That was a wake-up-call. It really showed me how intense my life can be. The possibility of actually resting and taking in utter silence. Wonderful! Time to relax, time to think. Time to feel present in one owns life. I came to a conclusion those days. I cannot keep this up come fall. I most probably am not able to either, on many levels. I have tried to do too much for too long. So I will wind down workwise. We really need the money, but I am hoping we will find some solutions somewhere. I will try to work on my own projects, using the time my body and mind can agree to. And I want to feel life. Hear my own thoughts. And gather enough surplus energy, both physically, spiritually and emotionally. So that I can live my life, not just be in it. I  really want to feel that I am present in my own life - and I am looking forward to it!

”Life is the greatest gift. Just a pity so many never fully unwrap it"

So look twice at your own life, are your days just passing you by, or do you feel part of it all? Is there anything you can do to make a difference?Find out what it takes for you to unwrap your life. Good luck!


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